Cold emails, cold calls...cold shoulder?

One of the ultimate forms of narcissism resides in your un-executed, most feared, and most desired projects.

“Ask, and it shall be given to you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: for every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seekseth findseth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

- Matthew 7:7-8

One of my favourite ideas from Steve Jobs is that the world is ultimately “poke-able”. Poke something on one side, and on the other, something will eventually pop. The world is not some fragile glass box where walls will shatter if messed with. In fact, the world seems to rather favour those who poke and prod a bit more than usual. Poke at the glass and you may realize it is not glass after all.

Steve Jobs and Steve Wozniak holding an Apple I circuit board, 1976

I believe the fear that lies behind people’s unwillingness to make themselves vulnerable to the world is one of the ultimate forms of narcissism; who really cares beyond yourself? Be it small, like a cold email to someone you wish to learn from, or a business idea you believe could challenge current society’s norms. The world around you should be an expression of your most authentic inner desires: your personal little heaven of creations, ideas, and people. If not, for what are we living for?

The great thinkers of history from Descartes and Nietzsche¹ to the great Plato, had all, in some form, encouraged us to hold up every belief we have in suspicion; for what beliefs and convictions about ourselves and the world have we been blindly taking as reality?

"Some years ago I was struck by how many false things I had believed, and by how doubtful was the structure of beliefs that I had based on them. I realized that if I wanted to establish anything in the sciences that was stable and likely to last, I needed – just once in my life – to demolish everything completely and start again from the foundations […] I will suppose that everything I see is false; I will believe that none of what my lying memory tells me ever existed. I will suppose I have no senses. I will believe that body, shape, extension, motion, and place are illusions”.

- Meditations on First Philosophy (1639), René Descartes

Illustration of Plato’s Cave, Source Unknown

This is something young children do well, if you’ve been around them long enough. Young children will continuously ask “why?”, untethered from the rigid glass walls we so rarely reach out to and question. Put a snake in front of a young enough child, and we’ll fail to see the reaction we’d expect². We are tainted with fear as we age.

~

It may be wise to caution, in our search for our authentic self, that fear and avoidance are very close friends of each other. When we fear to fail at a task, what typically follows is that we convince ourselves to avoid it. Fear is the ultimate compass though, and more than likely, what lies behind its intimidating demeanour, is a raw and authentic personal belief. This introspection and honesty is vital; the earlier you do it, the better. Don’t confuse fear for lack of interest. Listen to your heart and adjust your trajectory early, for every one degree a plane gets off course, it will miss its targeted landing spot by 92 feet for every mile you fly³.

In addition, the fear of failure is a belief that should definitely be held up close and inspected. Why are we so afraid of failure when even Julius Caesar, one of the greatest emperors of history, once said “Juventutem egit erroribus, imo furoribus, plenum […] "—he passed a youth full of errors, and of madnesses. We hide ourselves away from failure in the safety of familiar structures and routines, but failures and the passion alongside its daring feats, was the life force of one of the greatest figures in history.

The majority of people do not follow up after a failed interview, the majority of people can not handle beyond a few failures, a few cold shoulders. And the majority of people are willing to accept the world as it is presented to us; neatly wrapped with a big bow and unable to be tampered with. “That’s just how the world works”, we begin to say as we sound more and more like the adults we so wondered about as children. The moment you start poking and prodding, however, the bow unravels and the pristine wrapping paper is realized to have a gaps and flaws and room for you to poke your finger in. What you may find inside said box, Schrödinger may argue, is a world of infinite possibilities—only given to those who have the courage to poke at things.

Christmas Morning, Henry Mosler Repro (1841-1920)

~ fulltimesoup, 12/21/2024

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I hope to not come off as someone who is all-knowing in life and it’s wisdom. I merely hope to make sense of the thoughts I have, the knowledge I’ve learned, and share them with this little corner of the internet. Perhaps it will influence some form of thought.

I encourage criticism and conversation, so please feel free to reach out on Substack or at j33zhu@uwaterloo.ca

1. Friedrich Nietzsche, Human All-Too Human, aphorism 629.

2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3L4lxusff1c

3. https://www.lexipol.com/resources/blog/one-degree-off-course-policies-and-course-correction